Your browser (Internet Explorer 7 or lower) is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites. Learn how to update your browser.


My First Same-Sex Wedding. (Not Really)

I LOVE weddings.  And one of the best weddings I’ve ever attended took place last week in Brooklyn.  The whole evening was a perfect blend of elegance and casualness.  Rose petals strewn about a wooden deck and a Julliard-trained musician bowing her violin as 100 well-dressed guests sat underneath the setting sun, sipping wine and cocktails while the couple exchanged vows.  This was a fun, intimate affair punctuated by the couple’s unmistakable bond.  I was happy and proud to be a part of something this special.

Oh, and one more detail about the wedding:  there was no bride. READ MORE

Robin Thicke: Relationship Therapist

Pay attention to what Robin Thicke has been saying, not singing.  Forget about the lyrics, the new album, and his recent antics.  Instead, listen to what he’s been saying about his marriage, and what you’ll hear is a man putting on a master class in what not to do if you want to hold on to the person you love.

Here are 4 things he said in recent interviews that are revealing, instructive, and timely for anyone in a relationship: READ MORE

Why The Trip from Central America is Worth the Risk

20,805 unaccompanied minors from El Salvador, Guatemala, and Honduras were caught entering the United States illegally in 2013.  1,169 were repatriated.

57,000 unaccompanied children from those same 3 countries have been caught coming across the border so far this year.  1500, at most, have been deported.  Given those odds, it might be worth the trip.

President Obama’s public message that kids won’t be allowed to stay in the U.S. has to this point fallen on deaf Central American ears, and the kids keep arriving daily.  He’s now asking Congress for $3.7 billion in emergency funds to deal with the surge of unaccompanied children crossing the border.  But only a tiny fraction of that money would go where it’s desperately needed, the place with the best chance of ending the crisis:  immigration courts. READ MORE

8 Things Happiest People Do Everyday

1) They devote a great amount of time to their family and friends, nurturing and enjoying those relationships.

2) They are comfortable expressing gratitude for all they have.

3) They are often the first to offer helping hands to coworkers and passersby.

4) They practice optimism when imagining their futures.

5) They savor life’s pleasures and try to live in the present moment.

6) They make physical exercise a weekly and even daily habit.

7) They are deeply committed to lifelong goals and ambitions.

8) Their secret weapon they have is the poise and strength they show in coping in the face of challenge.

List via The How of Happiness written by University of California professor Sonja Lyubomirsky.

HELP WANTED: Who the hell is Loutelious?!

I’m frustrated that I can’t answer the simplest of questions: where does my name come from?

On Sunday, for the first time I can remember in my professional career, I revealed in a live broadcast that the “T” and the “J” in my name don’t actually represent anything.

People have guessed over the years that the T is for Thomas, Terry, Tiberious, etc., and that the J is because I’m a junior, named after my dad. The latter is true.  I am named after my dad, but my full name is Loutelious Holmes, Jr.

When my dad was growing up as Loutelious Holmes, the family called him “little T.”  That was his nickname.  To this day, most people call him “T.”  So when I was born as Loutelious Holmes, Jr., the whole family started calling me T. Jr.  No one in my family has every called me Loutelious.  No one.  Not once.

As I got older, I was disappointed that I had a unique name that no one in my family or hometown would call me.  When I got to college, I decided to introduce myself to new people as Loutelious only.  A lot of my boys ended up calling me Lou.

When I started my broadcast career, it was important to use a name that could be easily pronounced.  Still, I wanted to use my full name.  For the first story of my professional career, I signed off as Loutelious Holmes.  My second story, I signed off as Lou Holmes.  The third story, I signed off as T. J. Holmes, and I’ve been T. J. ever since.

After a segment on Melissa Harris-Perry’s show Sunday in which we discussed kid names and my name, a lot of people asked me about my name and its origins.  I couldn’t answer.  I had a long chat with my dad after the segment as well, and he couldn’t answer.  He was named after a great uncle, but other than that, we don’t know where this unique name originates.  At some point, we thought I had some Roman roots, but further research is needed.

So, I’m now on a quest.  At the age of 36, I’m trying to finally figure out who Loutelious really is.

Why didn’t somebody tell me THIS on graduation day?

I have no idea who spoke during my college graduation ceremony or what she (I think it was a woman) said.  Chances are, she talked about passion, service to others, following your dream, learning from failure, changing the world, fears, opportunity, blah, blah, blah.  Commencement speeches often follow these worthy themes.

Here is what I wish somebody had told me and today’s college graduates need to hear:  READ MORE